Jerry seinfeld quotes about dating

I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. "Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big." "That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, "Oh, I don't believe this. I did it again." They tell you it's something mechanical because they don't want to come on the P. system, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be delayed here on the ground for a while.

Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box. Goodbye." What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? See you later." You know what I never get with the limo?

When you make a TV show, they always say you're a guest in someone's home. So that's why I try to make it sound and look and feel very inviting and attractive, because I know that I'm in your face.

When you're in comedy, people always come up and say, ' Oh, it must be so hard.' It really isn't hard unless you're not good at it.

I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.

Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.” ― Jerry Seinfeld “Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. Ever seen that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with?

To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures?

For me, it's nothing to do with finding those words offensive. Do it clean, and you are really earning that laugh.

For me, it's a purity thing about the joke itself.

It's a test of a joke whether or not you do it completely clean and it works.

Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. I'm sorry, I'll run back and get them." I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain.

I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in!

Search for jerry seinfeld quotes about dating:

jerry seinfeld quotes about dating-5

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

One thought on “jerry seinfeld quotes about dating”