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He felt he already made a huge commitment by sharing his entire life within the 1000 square feet we called home and couldn’t understand why I still wasn’t happy and kept pressuring him for more.His frustration made him distant, which only reinforced my concerns about why it was taking so long for him to propose.And now, for the best case scenario: cohabitation before you ultimately get married.Nowhere near as sticky as the scenarios I just described, but you might be surprised by some of the disadvantages that you probably never even thought of.” But of course, he couldn’t do that because it would fully ruin the surprise. There was nothing I could do except try to be patient and try not let my fears and misinterpretations of his behavior get the best of me. Maybe I’m going to have to shove everything I own in a gym bag and live out of my car again but now I have things that won’t fit in a filing cabinet and … Although we were definitely excited to share the news with family and friends and we both felt a deeper commitment to each other, having some noticeable change in our day to day lives would have added a layer of excitement and significance to what was (and always will be) one of the best times of our life.
Cohabitating was so prevalent among my friends, and I had done it before so I was completely desensitized to its true significance.
This relationship is going to work out, so maybe he’s right and it DOESN’T make sense NOT to live together.” Wrong.
Moving in together meant slightly different things to each of us.
Let’s say the two of you have every intention of spending the rest of your lives together and even the Psychic Friends Network is predicting happily ever after. Should you move in before you’re officially engaged or married? Based on my own experience, I personally think it’s not worth it for reasons that didn’t occur to me until it was too late.
When my now-husband-then-boyfriend-not-yet-fiancé discussed moving in together, I was hesitant even though I knew for certain that getting married was a matter of “when” not “if” for us.
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Although it was awkward explaining my “new filing system” to my boss, it was totally worth it because I was able to say, “Clarence, I’m leaving you” and actually walk away, leaving only a hair dryer, a pair of sneakers, and a broken hearted deadbeat behind. There are a whole host of other issues that come up if you try to stick it out until that pesky lease expires.